Thursday, December 17, 2009

Going Green

This is the last of my crazy cell phone commentaries. Check out the intro here.

This is the first "green" cell phone I have seen. By looking at it, one can see that it is very green colored, grasslike in fact, and I am unsure that it actually is made out of anything other than grass. While some people may be attracted to the "green" movement, but in this case, the problem may not be as much with the actual phone as with the person who designed the photo. Who really wants to see a phone broken? Is that a good idea? It looks more like horse-feed than anything useful. A real life, "green" cell phone would be a big hit though.
...Not with me...
But with lots of other, weirder people.


This is a continuation of the interesting cell phone series. To catch up on the phones already critiqued, start with the intro here.

This phone has amazing feng shui, or whatever it's called. This design is plain and simple, ready to be loved by all Americans who wish they were unique.
Butterflies, wood veneer, and a diluted red font make the cell phone seem calm and relaxing, ready to be used for a edifying conversation. Hopefully the ringtones are just as reassuring and a bamboo plant is nearby. Then we can meditate to the rushing-river ringtone of the cell phone.
Sarcasm aside, I really do like this.

Handy Dandy

Yet another cell phone post!! If you have not read the previous posts, start with the intro here.
HOW COOL IS THIS!!! I want it. This is the ultimate manly cell phone. Complete with a knife, a nail file/screwdriver, a pair of scissors, and corkscrew, it is the best combination of handy dandy tools to date. What more could a man need in one simple design?

Smoke Break

To catch up on the crazy cell phone design series, read the intro here.

For anybody who does not smoke, there is now the cell-phone-cigarette-pack!! How convenient. I often complain to myself that because I do not smoke, I do not receive more than two breaks a day from work.
Now take my coworkers for example: they all smoke; they do about half as much work as i do during the day. And why is this? They smoke! And therefore, their employers are required to allow them smoke breaks when necessary. Of course smoke breaks extend to coffee breaks which extend to a breath of fresh air breaks, to the point that I have never seen Jacci work more than ten consecutive minutes.
I think this cell phone is a brilliant idea. I may even invest in one myself (or camoflage my much, much cooler phone). It looks exactly like a pack of cigarettes, and would probably fool anybody on the street. It's time for a smoke-free break.

Pop a Cap in Yo' [Posterior], Foo!

For the first weird cell phone in this series (do read the intro here), I found :

Yes. It is a cell phone GUN (specifically a Cell Phone Glock 23). Remember back to my series on paintball guns? One of the things I mentioned repeatedly as a positive or negative of each gun was how much it looked like a real, terror invoking, honest to goodness gun.
This cell phone has the same problem as several of those paintball guns. It looks like a real gun! Sure, it says Nokia, and sure, there is a keypad, but who is going to notice those tiny details when you're holding that side by your face?! I think this cell phone gun is an awesomely manly idea, but it just would not fly in the real world. It is much too realistic.

Cell Phones

It is time for me to purchase a new cell phone. Mine is decrepit. It resets itself when I hit the "enter" button.  But not every time.  Just once a day or so, unless it's in a bad mood, in which case it can do it dozens of times in a row.  The screen is scratched and the slider part is sticky (through no fault of mine.  It just came that way).  Time for an upgrade.
I thought that perhaps I would try to get a phone with really new technology, and, as I always do, I searched the internet for newest, nicest phones.
Needless to say, I got distracted. There are so many weird phones!! I found all the following cell phone designs while wasting my time when I should have been looking at phones that I would actually buy.
And just so you all know: I'm pretty sure that all of these are photo manipulations or fabricated fakes that don't actually work, with the possible exception of the cigarette one.


Avant Garde still makes no sense to me. But check out the rest of the series, starting with the introduction.
Here's the picture of the day. This is by far the craziest hairstyle I have yet seen. And by crazy, I mean "Avant Garde" apparently.
Thanks to this photo, I now know that Avant Garde does not mean "amateurish-on-purpose", not by a long shot. No amateur could have created such a perfect disaster. These sturdy cables of hair were created by a master! A master of "unorthodox and experimental methods" (Thank you Whoever styled this girl's hair must be a leader in Avant Garde fashion: exploratory, unorthodox, and just plain ugly-on-purpose.